How to Deal with a Difficult Person: What They Don't Tell You in the Corporate Handbooks

The bloke sitting across from me in the boardroom was doing that thing again – interrupting every second sentence, drumming his fingers like he's auditioning for a death metal band, and somehow managing to breathe loudly through his nose while talking. We've all been there, haven't we? Stuck with that one person who seems genetically programmed to make your working life a masterclass in patience testing.

Here's what nobody wants to admit: some people are just difficult. Not misunderstood. Not going through a rough patch. Just plain difficult. And after fifteen years of dealing with everyone from temperamental tradies to power-hungry middle managers, I reckon it's time we stopped pretending otherwise.

The Myth of Universal Workplace Harmony

Every HR manual on the planet will tell you that "there are no difficult people, only difficult situations." Absolute rubbish. I've worked with people who could start an argument in an empty room. The sooner we acknowledge this reality, the better equipped we'll be to handle it.

Take my mate Sarah who runs a supervisory training business in Melbourne. She's got stories that would make your toes curl. Like the account manager who insisted on CC'ing the entire company on emails about his lunch preferences. That's not a situation problem – that's a personality problem.

The corporate world loves to sell us this fantasy that everyone can get along if we just communicate better. Sometimes that's true. But sometimes Janet from accounts is going to be a nightmare regardless of how many active listening workshops you drag her through.

The first step in dealing with difficult people is accepting they exist.

Know Your Enemy (And I Mean That Fondly)

Not all difficult people are created equal. After years of observation, I've categorised them into what I call the "Fantastic Four" of workplace frustration:

The Steamroller bulldozes through conversations, decisions, and your lunch break with equal enthusiasm. They're not necessarily malicious – they just operate like they're the only person in the room.

The Passive-Aggressive Perfectionist agrees to everything in meetings then does the exact opposite. They're masters of the art of compliance without commitment. You know the type – "Of course I can get that done by Friday" followed by radio silence until the following Tuesday.

The Chronic Complainer has turned negativity into an art form. Every solution has a problem, every success has a caveat, and every good day has a "but wait, there's more" attached to it.

The Know-It-All has an opinion about everything and the credentials to back up none of it. They're the reason meetings run overtime and why simple decisions require committee approval.

I used to think I could "fix" these personality types. Spent hours crafting the perfect emails, planning strategic conversations, even bought a book on "transformational leadership." What a waste of time that was.

The Three Pillars of Difficult Person Management

Here's what actually works, and it's probably not what you're expecting:

Pillar One: Strategic Disengagement

This isn't about being rude or unprofessional. It's about protecting your energy for battles worth fighting. When Trevor from IT starts his daily rant about the coffee machine, you don't need to provide solutions or emotional support. A simple "That sounds frustrating" followed by a subject change works wonders.

I learned this the hard way after spending six months trying to help a chronically negative colleague see the bright side. Spoiler alert: there is no bright side when someone's determined to live in permanent shadow. Some people collect grievances like vintage wine – the older and more bitter, the better.

Pillar Two: Document Everything

Controversial opinion incoming: not everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. Some people have earned their reputation for being unreliable, argumentative, or generally unpleasant to work with. When you're dealing with these folks, paper trails become your best friend.

Email confirmations of verbal agreements. Meeting minutes with action items clearly assigned. Follow-up messages summarising "what we discussed." This isn't about being petty – it's about protecting yourself and your projects from selective memory syndrome.

A mate of mine who runs leadership workshops swears by what he calls the "CYA approach" – Cover Your Assets. Not the most elegant terminology, but effective nonetheless.

Pillar Three: Set Boundaries Like Your Career Depends On It

Because it probably does. Difficult people are boundary-testers by nature. They'll push until they find your limits, then set up camp right there. The trick is establishing those limits early and defending them consistently.

This means saying no to unreasonable requests. It means not answering work emails at 10 PM just because someone else has poor planning skills. It means refusing to be the emotional dumping ground for someone else's workplace drama.

I once worked with a project manager who expected immediate responses to every message, regardless of time or day. After three weeks of disrupted evenings, I started responding with "I'll address this first thing Monday morning" to any non-urgent weekend communications. Amazing how quickly behaviour changes when you stop enabling it.

The Australian Advantage

Here's something I've noticed working with international teams: Australians have a natural advantage when dealing with difficult people. We're culturally programmed for directness without unnecessary malice. We can call out poor behaviour without making it personal.

"Mate, that interrupting thing you do in meetings – it's not working for anyone" hits differently than the passive-aggressive alternatives popular in other cultures. Sometimes people genuinely don't realise their impact. Sometimes they do but need to know someone's paying attention.

The key is delivering these messages with the right tone. Firm but not hostile. Clear but not condescending. Think "disappointed coach" rather than "angry parent."

When Nothing Else Works

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, the difficult person remains stubbornly difficult. That's when it's time for the nuclear option: strategic avoidance.

I'm not talking about completely ignoring colleagues or abandoning professional responsibilities. I'm talking about minimising exposure while maximising productivity. Choose your projects carefully. Attend different lunch sessions. Take the stairs instead of the lift if you know they'll be there complaining about the weather.

This might sound immature, but your mental health and career progression are more important than being universally available to every workplace vampire who wants to drain your energy.

There's a workplace training event happening in Perth next month that specifically addresses these dynamics. Worth checking out if you're dealing with particularly challenging situations.

The Uncomfortable Truth About Change

Here's what took me years to accept: you cannot change difficult people. You can only change how you respond to them. Every minute spent trying to transform someone else's personality is a minute stolen from your own professional development.

Some people are difficult because they're stressed, overwhelmed, or dealing with personal issues. These folks deserve patience and support. Others are difficult because it works for them – they get attention, avoid consequences, or maintain control through their behaviour.

Learning to distinguish between these two groups will save you years of frustration and countless hours of misplaced effort.

The most successful professionals I know aren't the ones who get along with everyone – they're the ones who know how to manage relationships strategically while protecting their own interests. That might sound cynical, but it's also realistic.

Moving Forward

Dealing with difficult people isn't about becoming difficult yourself. It's about developing the emotional intelligence to recognise patterns, the professional skills to manage situations effectively, and the self-respect to protect your own wellbeing in the process.

Next week, I'll probably encounter at least three difficult people in various professional settings. But instead of hoping they'll change or trying to fix them, I'll focus on what I can control: my responses, my boundaries, and my energy allocation.

That's the real secret to workplace sanity – not eliminating difficult people, but mastering the art of dealing with them without losing yourself in the process.

And if all else fails, there's always the option of starting your own business. Though let me tell you, difficult customers are somehow even worse than difficult colleagues.

But that's a rant for another day.